On the go? Listen along to our boss babe as you work, drive or read along.
Hi Carolmine babes, Jenny here. Before I get into this, I'd like to share about something that happened to me today. It sort of got me to do a sudden R E - W R I T E of this blog. I guess I can't help myself when inspiration hits. I broke down in tears after listening to Sunsets For Somebody Else by Jack Johnson for the first time in a long time. Do you guys remember that song? God I love that one. Go ahead and give it a listen for reference if you'd like. I was addicted to it last summer and put it behind all my Carolmine videos and even got a guitar lesson from a friend to try to learn it. I didn't even fully understand the song at the time. Certain parts of it just rang true and my soul just felt right listening to it. I had this idea that took me learning and singing the song which turned out to be something I wasn't ready for. I mean intimidating sh*t! Can you blame me? It's weird what will change when your whole world changes. Now where were we. Awh yes.
How To Stay Creative.
Particularly in a time like this am I right? Yes this is a "Quarantini Time" blog post but don't worry. You can always keep this 3-step tip in your back pocket no matter what phase of life you're in. What it does mean, is there is a white claw in my hand, and I've forgotten what day it is about 2 weeks ago. I felt the need to share and get personal with you guys because well, I wouldn't be me if I didn't go there. I'm not one to hide if it means I get to share the good stuff. I mean there's always good stuff right? Some light at the end of every dark tunnel? A pocket of gold at the end of every rainbow? Yea I like to think so. For that reason I stay sharing. No matter how long the days in darkness one journey can be, there is always a moment the light sets me free.
So before I get to the meat of how implementing these steps worked for me, I figure'd I lay it out neat for you in 3 easy steps.
1. Dream List: (Dream baby!)
2. Me Time: (Deep thought with yourself and deep conversation with another)
3. M&M's: (Music and Movement with a bag of M&M's of course)
Lastly, you should know there is no order to these steps. You can start with number 3 or number 1. Switch back and forth based on what is inspiring you in the moment, whether it be a song, a dance, a deep thought trance, or after finally scarfing down that bag of M&M's. Which of course, gets you to finally sit down and write your damn list. All in all, there are no rules in the world of staying creative and being inspired. So sit back and let it flow.
Now I did say this would be a tell-all so I plan on sharing a little something about myself during every step. For this one, I'll share how intimidating it was for me to dream on paper again. You see it had been a while since I really let myself dream. Listening to that Jack Johnson tune is what really made me realize it. I had a flood of memories of being fully immersed in chasing my dreams and remembered what my spirit felt like back then. Fearless. You see when I say dream list, I really mean to let it flow. Don't hold anything back and write down whatever is laying on your heart. In a dream world, what would you do? Who would you be? What are some of the things regarding habits, career, personal space, self-care, movement, and hobbies you would be interested in pursuing? Welp. No better time than the present to write it all down since we have nothing else to do. Now here's what I did with my list. I hid it and ran away from it. Which brings me to step 2.
You see I knew my energy had been off since I was coming out of a particularly hard wave of life. But I was also READY for lift off! At least, that's what I kept telling myself. You see 2019 was a growing year for me. Yes I did have some amazing moments where I was fearless and fully embodied who I've always wanted to be. But I also had a year of where I was at my absolute lowest. This is where Jack Johnson's lyrics comes in. Wow did I suddenly come to place where I was looking up from the bottom of the earth. My rock bottom. And wondering what all of it was worth anyway.
Ya I know, who would have thought right? Social media is interesting in that you can really make your life look a certain way. I guess I tend to romanticize life and expect somewhat of the picture perfect obstacle and triumph scenario. I love a good story after all. Well, sometime during 2019 I began to really resist my story. I can't really pin point where the vibes all went to sh*t, but I guess it for sure started after facing an obstacle last summer that was just a little too tough for my spirit to bare. Yea after that it was just one thing after another. Which basically opened the flood gates of negative thoughts and insecurities about my journey thus far. Suddenly, the bad vibes were biting at my lips, my thoughts, and breathing down my neck and entire soul. My eyes became lonely and my dreamer spirit suddenly was replaced with fear. It didn't help that I was also in a crucial year in my business and happened to be going through my "hard year". I mean everyone has one right? But building and creating something from nothing at the same time? WOW was there no rulebook for that one. You see during the same time I made the decision to quit my part-time waitressing job and go ALL-IN on my dream. I also made the tough decision to pull back from tirelessly driving down to Long Beach every other week to work and host pop-ups. As much as I loved it and could never say no to a good work flow, I knew my focus needed to switch to the online world. I mean the future is online right? Easier said than done when you're used to getting funds a certain way. But my current life obstacles required an immediate change and well...I wasn't one to back down to an obstacle. Now the difference between my other stories and this one is that because my spirit was low, when I failed, I didn't get back up. At least...not at first.
This brings us to the meat of "Me Time". The ability to allow yourself to fully indulge in deep thought about yourself and your life. There can be different levels to this as some people like myself, do everything they can to avoid thinking about how they truly feel and how things are going. Yea lets just say it may take a few tries before you even get anywhere. Part A of this step is to tell the truth to yourself. My truth came out as I was listening to that familiar Jack Johnson tune. The realization that I let doubt and fear consume every part of me but then got myself FREE. I'm not there anymore with the help of loved ones and a spiritual awakening of sorts. Thank you to the big guy upstairs for that one. But once upon a time I was there, looking up at night from the bottom of the earth. The process of allowing myself to realize that I was once there and not there anymore was....well everything. This step does have a part B because it can be difficult to figure things out on your own. Our brains tend to be harsh and unrealistic when it comes to ourselves. Bringing another person in is what always get's me to the finish line faster. Allowing yourself to indulge in a deep conversation about YOU with a friend is just as important as it is to have that conversation with yourself. I can't tell you how many times somebody ELSE held the key to a hidden door of light. Our brains tend to hide those doors am I right?
M & M's
Which brings us to music and movement! Being that we are in some trying times, I can't express enough how important music and movement is. Part of the reason why I feel like I was down for the count for so long, is that movement was basically absent. Which makes me think music was at an all time low too. Your girl loves to move to a good tune after all. Yea I basically didn't leave my bed for an entire month. (Don't recommend! lol.) Fast forward to a good post COVID-19 cry, I am dancing to Celia Cruz in my living room as I scarf down a bag of peanut M&M's. My financial and career situation hasn't improved, but yet, I'M DANCING! Fully immersed in the tune and moving to the beat of my soul. Completely forgetting about the amount of money in my bank account or the level of success that I hold. This is not something that I was able to really forget from the comfort of my bed. And although some of my circumstances haven't changed, (if anything the damn rona made it worse!), my spirit has changed. It's a weird thing to not base your grade of a human being, on money and success. I mean, it's hard not to when all of our systems are built on it. My rock bottom lead me to the necessary purging of no longer determining how good of a person I am based on money and success. Which is something I believe the whole world is being forced to deal with right now. It is not something that I wish on anyone and yet I want to share from someone who is on the other side....I never felt more free. Thank God for the process of loving myself outside of money.
Given my age group, majority of my friends have gotten laid off. My fellow freelancers and entrepreneurs are struggling and the world as we know it will never be the same. Where the world is shifting to, I do not know, but what I do know is, thanks to that good ol' Jack Johnson tune, things can never stay the same. Resisting that fact was at the root of my downfall. Ya girl likes to romanticize life remember? I didn't think I was signing up for so much change! All the ups and downs and friendships lost. I was doing so well being the well-liked good girl that kept to herself and her friends. Putting myself and my dreams out there, set me up for a whole lot of change. Now all of a sudden, I have all these raw edges and trigger points that weren't once there. So in the words of Jack Johnson, things can never stay the same, so what is keeping you here? For me, here meant rock bottom. Someone else could have my life after all and be completely grateful. Allowing myself to go through this phase of inquiry let the child in my heart come through again. It's not like she cared about money or success. It was all about finding the cutest form of uniform and who could spin on the monkey bars longer. It was so easy to love and live life in the moment. The child-like heart really know's how to live and love am I right?
Which brings me to my favorite line in this Jack Johnson tune. "No, can this world not afford to sleep, anymore". Extreme change brought me the unraveling of my soul and reconnection to the child within my heart. In a way, I felt like I was asleep until then. I have this weird feeling that our world was far over due for some drastic change. Because well, things can never stay the same. My heart goes out to all those in pain in the mix of change. I invite everyone at this time, to do what you go got to do to stay creative and find the child within your heart. Get to a place where you are able to love like a child would. Whether it be yourself or your scared neighbor. I would have never thought that being forced to stay in and change up my workflow AGAIN would lead me to realizing that I made it through! When I pulled out my list after a few weeks of hiding I realized that I have done more than half of my dream list. I started playing guitar everyday, started reading a book, meditated, wrote more than I've ever had and prayed when I was worried. I've taken time daily to go over things I'm grateful for, and I actually opened my bible app again. I've danced and even tried to free style just because I've always wanted to. Each one of these dream paths lead me to another without me even realizing I was completing my list. I guess the child-like heart knows what it wants huh?
I know this time of uncertainty can be incredibly scary and I hope each one of you finds peace amongst the storm. I also hope with whatever obstacle you're dealing with you find triumph. But mostly I hope you learn to love yourself like a child would. Outside of money and success. I think this world would do a lot better with some more child-like hearts running around. Lastly, I hope you know whatever great journey life has in store for you had this obstacle intertwined in it. YOUR story is bigger than this. Now I know what I'm suppose to say is stay safe, but what I really want to say is, have faith. We got this.
Tag your lists, your bag of M&M's, or the song that made all the difference for you. We'll be reposting all you creative dreamers out there! Now I'll get back to enjoying this tajin rimmed white claw as I jam out to my favorite tune.